Joyful & Triumphant

This is a truth that I’ve “known” for a long time, but I am coming to a new and deeper understanding of it at this point in my life.   The 2 greatest commandments in Scripture teach us that we should love God with our whole being (heart, soul, mind and strength), then love our neighbor as ourselves.  Neither one of these commandments focuses on ME and what I think I need.  It’s about serving God and others.  However, I often find my mind focused on what I am doing, accomplishing, feeling and needing rather than on God and those around me.

Over the past year, I said “good-bye” to many things that I valued in my life . . . to the point of feeling like I’ve even “lost” my very identity.  Yet my identity and value is NOT in what I do.  It doesn’t matter if I organize and run a home school group.  It doesn’t matter if serve clients with my accounting degree.  It doesn’t matter if I’m involved in service projects.  It doesn’t matter if I have a great network of special people surrounding me.  I cannot and should not rely on any of these aspects for my identity, though they may be great things in themselves.  BUT I need to constantly rely on GOD to supply my true needs – not the needs I think I have.  My identity is in HIM!  My whole identity is in Christ, not in what I do for Him.  My worth and value is all found in HIM!  Wholeness and completeness in my heart and life are found in Christ.

In a recent sermon,  we were challenged to consider:  if Jesus is all that there is – the only thing on the menu – is that enough for me?  Or do I feel like I need Jesus and a good job, or Jesus and a purpose, or Jesus and a great friend, or Jesus and a nice house.  Is Jesus truly enough in my life, or am I constantly looking for more?  This is a challenge for me right now.  I know in my head that, yes, Jesus is enough.  But then I continue to live and allow my emotions to tell me that He is not enough.  I dwell on what I don’t have and what I think I need instead of focusing on the sufficiency of Christ!

Steve Camp sings a beautiful song reminding me that through all life, every circumstance I may face, Jesus is all I need.  He’s my anchor and will never let me go!  To listen to this song, click: He’s All You Need by Steve Camp.

May you allow Jesus to be everything for you today.  He is sufficient!  He is more than sufficient if we allow Him to be!

How far back do you remember?  What is your first memory of doing something that you knew beyond a shadow of doubt that you should not have done?

I was certainly NOT a perfect child (my many siblings can affirm this), but there was one instance that occurred while I was in the 4th grade that became a significant memorable moment for me.  We had just taken a reading comprehension test (not a strong subject for me).  We passed our test to either the person in front or behind us to grade it while we graded another student’s test.  I missed 1 too many in order to move up to the next level.  I was embarrassed about this, but what I chose to do, I deeply regret, and it has haunted me for many years.

First of all, I asked my fellow student to give me the test so I could change one of my answers, thus producing a grade to advance me to the next level.  Secondly, when the teacher called my name to report my score, I lied to her by giving her the incorrect grade.    So not only had I now cheated, I had also lied ~ with a fellow student as my witness.  I immediately felt terrible, but I chose NOT to confess or to admit this to anyone.  Instead I vowed I would never do that again and begged God for forgiveness.

About 10 years later, God still had a lesson to teach me.  While I was serving as a volunteer after high school, I continued to be convicted of this double sin.  God was now asking that I confess my wrong doing if I truly wanted to live in freedom.  How was I going to do that?  The school I had attended back then had closed.  I didn’t even know if the teacher was still teaching.  But I knew I had to try.  So I wound up writing a note to my teacher – asking for forgiveness – and mailed it to the last school where I knew she taught.  I have no idea if she ever actually received the note.  That’s irrelevant to me.  What is important, however, are the valuable lessons I learned through this experience:

• Walking in obedience to God is walking in freedom and is far more valuable than any earthly reward.
• Living with a clear conscience is worth more than any grade.
• I did not wish to apologize to anyone again for choosing to behave poorly (that’s just plain humiliating and embarrassing! Also, I have had to apologize MANY times since then – guess I’m a slow learner.)
• I’m thankful that God could use that situation with seemingly insignificant consequences to teach me a valuable life lesson.

Though this one “small” act of disobedience seems insignificant, it can easily become something much bigger when we choose not to learn from our choices.  When we consistently make poor choices in “insignificant” situations, we can grow numb to not living in integrity, and it becomes more difficult to make the right choice when it really matters.

~Lord, help me daily to live a life of integrity and honesty!